A little about my situation

Well, I keep trying to contact my ex-husband through various means hoping to talk to my son, but so far I have been unsuccessful. It's been about a year since I was able to talk to my son on the phone, and a little over since I held him in my arms and told him I'd see him soon. The day I moved back to Florida I thought for sure my son would be following soon with my ex. Even then I still trusted and loved the man, after all of the shit he had put me through. I never thought for a second that he would run as soon as the Navy let him out. I only wish I had my friends and family there at the time to snap me out of his spell on me. Since I found out he wasn't coming as he had promised I tried calling lawyer after lawyer for some help. But considering the circumstances and the different states not many seemed to know how to even begin. And the few that did were asking for more money then I make in a month up front. My son will be 3 this coming February. That will make two birthdays I wont be able to tell him how much I love him. My ex-husband is under the impression that he is better off thinking his new "step-mom" is his real mom. Last time I talked to him he told me he wished I was dead, and promptly shut off his phone service and blocked me on everything. I tried talking to his family, who had always seemed to really care about me, and they seem to think (with his suggestion, i'm sure) that I was the one who cheated on him. That I just left him and my son. I regret so much of the last 3 years. The first being that I ever trusted that man.