Working hard. X-P

Well, sorry for the lack of updates, I've been working a lot lately because of the holidays. Sadly this is gonna be a short one. For anyone looking for more information about my story feel free to message me and ask. I'm trying not to just post everything at once on here. For a little more about it, my son will be 3 in February. It's been a little over a year since I last saw him and a little less since I last talked to him on the phone. My ex is keeping any information about him from me at this point. Last I heard the last February was that he was learning to count and doing well, although that doesn't mean much coming from my ex. Although I've been trying to contact everyone that knew my ex for the past year no one will answer me. I don't think my ex is abusing him, but I honestly don't know for sure as he always had a very bad temper in general. Although it was never toward my son, I'm afraid as he gets older he might. :-( As time passes I find it's harder and harder to think about all of this.

A little about my situation

Well, I keep trying to contact my ex-husband through various means hoping to talk to my son, but so far I have been unsuccessful. It's been about a year since I was able to talk to my son on the phone, and a little over since I held him in my arms and told him I'd see him soon. The day I moved back to Florida I thought for sure my son would be following soon with my ex. Even then I still trusted and loved the man, after all of the shit he had put me through. I never thought for a second that he would run as soon as the Navy let him out. I only wish I had my friends and family there at the time to snap me out of his spell on me. Since I found out he wasn't coming as he had promised I tried calling lawyer after lawyer for some help. But considering the circumstances and the different states not many seemed to know how to even begin. And the few that did were asking for more money then I make in a month up front. My son will be 3 this coming February. That will make two birthdays I wont be able to tell him how much I love him. My ex-husband is under the impression that he is better off thinking his new "step-mom" is his real mom. Last time I talked to him he told me he wished I was dead, and promptly shut off his phone service and blocked me on everything. I tried talking to his family, who had always seemed to really care about me, and they seem to think (with his suggestion, i'm sure) that I was the one who cheated on him. That I just left him and my son. I regret so much of the last 3 years. The first being that I ever trusted that man.

Starting over...

Well, here I am, 22 years old, divorced, and living with my mom again. Getting wrapped up in a whirl wind romance at 18, dropping out of college and moving across the country with a man you've only known for 6 months is not recommended. I was 19 when I got pregnant with my son, and that is about when my at the time husband started changing from a caring understanding man, to a controlling, manipulative person. I tried making things last, even when I caught him telling another women he wanted to be with her instead while I was 8 months pregnant. I trusted him when he told me it was nothing, that he was sorry, that he loved me. In the end all it got me was a year and a half of verbal and emotional abuse, a load of debt, and him leaving me for another women with my son in his arms. I have spent the last year without my son dreaming about what he may be like now, 2 1/2 years old. Talking to lawyers trying to figure out the best plan to get him back. Having little money and little support is hard though. Mom has helped as much as she can, but she has her own problems. I found out a few weeks ago that my son and ex-husband are in Michigan now and that he has apparently married the women that "meant nothing" to him all those months ago. Now I get to picture this man and women raising my son, telling him that she is his only mother. Things have been hard. But I'm hoping they get better. Soon hopefully. I'm asking for help though, through donation, legal advice, or even just support. Anything that may help me get closer to my sunshine. To my beautiful baby boy.